New Religion with Orange God Attracts Millions of Worshippers

WASHINGTON, DC: With already over 4000 religions to choose from, consumers can now embrace yet another belief system to justify violence, oppression, misogyny, racism, homophobia and resource hoarding. 

According to spokesman Josh Martin, The Church of Jesus Christ It’s Donald Trump Again, while at first glance seems to resemble evangelical Christianity, is actually, “more like evangelical Christianity plus fascism on steroids, opioids and amphetamines.” 

The Church officially incarnated on November 5, 2024, when over 71 million adherents made a profession of faith to TCJCIDTA. Religious scholars note the Church has been in informal operation since 2016. 

Wilma Greene of Dickshooter, Idaho, recently proclaimed, “On November 5, 2024, I was SAVED by TCJCIDTA. If that  DEI Harris lady had won, I am certain Satan himself would have possessed me and forced me to believe in a competent, experienced, woman leader with an actual moral compass. Praise Trump that did not come to pass!”

As with the gods of some religions of old - think Zeus -  the spiritual center of this church is also a serial rapist and con man.“I just feel more comfortable having my god be someone whose values and actions align with mine.  Mind you, I’ve never committed a felony or crashed an economy, but I'll believe anything he says knowing he has the power to make life miserable for the browns and blacks,” said Junior Williams of Gnaw Bone, Indiana.

Membership in the Church comes with a price.  For a monthly donation of $666.00, adherents receive an autographed TCJCIDTA Bible and membership at their local miniature golf course where they are commanded to congregate for worship and 18 holes on Sundays while live streaming their god doing the same from the holy land of Mar-a-Lago.

“It’s worth every penny,” remarked Darlene White of Ding Dong, Texas. “Even though my retirement account has been decimated by recent stock market crashes and the shelves at Walmart are practically empty, I believe in miracles. Just look at the fact that this country willingly re-elected him.  Talk about Holy Sh!t!”

By Christine Stevens