MONTGOMERY, AL: Drivers in 25 states in the US are claiming a victory for the Car Rights movement.
Advocates are cheering the passage of laws in half the states in the US that no longer require a license to operate a vehicle.
“We’re tired of the car control extremists telling us we need proper training and complicated paperwork and a really bad picture of just our head to drive a car. Hell, my 11 year old can drive and because of this new law, I won’t even have to get out of bed in the morning to take him to school,” noted Luther Marshall of Guntersville, AL.
The move to abolish the requirement for a license to operate a motor vehicle was inspired by the (as of January 1, 2023) 25 states with no licensing or training requirement for gun ownership.
“A car is basically a really large weapon, like a gun. So if we don’t need a license or training around ‘gun safety’ to operate a lethal firearm, why would we need one to operate a car?” reasoned Mary Beth Wilkerson of Butte Fork, Montana.
When informed that the US Dept. of Transportation anticipates a steep rise in motor vehicle accidents, injuries and deaths with the passage of these laws, Wilkerson replied, “Cars don’t kill people. People driving cars kill people.” No further explanation was given.
Recent polls show the majority of Americans are in favor of licensure. With 20% of all car accidents already caused by unlicensed drivers, most Americans think it’s ‘just plain old common sense to require a driver's license’ said a defeated sounding Laura McCarthy of Cambridge, MA. "Driving in Boston is already a death defying experience. I guess now I'll have to get my affairs in order and prepare for the inevitable."
Gary Beaumont, a Car Rights activist and used car salesman sees this victory as having wide reaching implications for other “overly regulated activities," such as practicing medicine, operating a nuclear power plant or flying airplanes. "This could create opportunities for more Americans to participate in ventures they might normally be prevented from enjoying because of governmental interference and bureaucracy.”
He then handed the keys to a 1999 Ford Fiesta to its proud new owner, a partially sighted chimpanzee named Steve.
By Christine Stevens