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Amazon Sues Eclipse for Interference with Commerce

SEATTLE, WA: An outraged Jeff Bezos has filed a lawsuit against Monday’s eclipse for interference with commerce.

As millions of Americans took a brief break from purchasing on Amazon, the behemoth noted a momentary but precipitous drop in traffic to its website. 

Citing the Hobbs Act, Bezos noted, “I estimate a loss of at least 48 billion in sales for the 10-15 minutes folks were ‘busy’ looking at the eclipse. I’m holding both the sun and the moon responsible. Those two conspired to divert the public's attention from mindlessly buying crap to gathering in community to peacefully watch a natural phenomenon.”

Counsel for the celestial bodies could not be reached for comment.

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