• Christine Stevens

Teachers Across the US Replace Moment of Silence with Moment of Screaming

NEW YORK, NY: Educators across the country have replaced their daily classroom moment of silence with a moment of screaming in the wake of the almost hourly massacre of children at school.

“It’s a bit hard on the vocal chords,” admits Sallie Harmon, a fourth grade teacher in Newtown, CT. “But it’s much more cathartic than being silent. I feel a tiny bit calmer, for about 10 minutes, until my news feed reports another mass shooting.”

Students have begun to join in the ritual, reports Andrew Brown, a biology teacher at Martin Luther King Jr. High School. “We’re thinking of taking a field trip to Washington, DC and having our moment of screaming on the steps of the capitol. If that doesn’t make us feel better, then maybe we’ll stop by the individual homes of the 47 Republican Senators who currently have an A+ rating from the NRA… the list of people to scream at is endless.”

Physics teacher Marilyn Winters speculated that “if we could coordinate it, the simultaneous screams produced by millions of teachers could possibly reach a decibel level that even Mitt Romney (career funding from the NRA: 13.6 million) could hear.” She then laughed and added, “In my dreams.”

Joining Romney at the top of the NRA Honor Roll are Richard Burr who’s accepted over 7 million from the worlds’ most powerful gun lobby and Roy Blunt who earned his position by stuffing 4.6 million into his pockets. A full list of this years honorees can be found at:

Second grade teacher Maria Santos noted that “The number of students who have no chance of appearing on any honor roll, anywhere, this year is 1,839 due to their deaths from gun violence. I think we could scream until our vocal chords shattered and it wouldn’t really make a difference.”

By Christine Stevens

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