• Christine Stevens

Local Woman Blamed for Spring Snowstorm After Prematurely Storing Her Winter Clothes

A Hadley woman is being held accountable for an early spring Nor’easter that caused power outages, traffic accidents, and widespread despair.

Khrystine St. Evens, 60, is accused of triggering the destructive snowstorm after she put away all her winter clothing on March 19. The resulting storm, on March 20 (also the Vernal Equinox and presumably the first day of Spring) brought 12” of icy mayhem to residents of this area.

Dave Hayes, a local amateur meteorologist with a popular Facebook page is being credited with discovering St. Evens as the culprit. After contacting police, he released a statement revealing how he knew St. Evens was responsible.

“Ms. St. Evens DM’d me on my FB page on March 18, asking if it was ok to put her winter clothes away for the season. I told her under no circumstances should she execute a WCSA (Winter Clothes Storage Action) as it is meteorologically likely to initiate an ESSR (Early Spring Storm Reaction). I was very clear about it, citing multiple sources with all the links. I guess she was just really tired of wearing bulky sweaters 24/7 for the past 6 months.”

St. Evens has issued an apology to the community. “I am deeply sorry for all the pain and suffering I have caused with my selfish act. The truth is I couldn’t stand the thought of wearing 3 layers of clothing every day anymore. Plus, in my defense, it was 65 degrees on Friday, so I thought it was safe. I now truly understand that winter clothing should not be stored until May 25th, at the earliest.”

Sources report that the day after the blizzard, angry but warmly dressed neighbors, upon learning of St. Evens involvement, stood outside her house and glared as St. Evens, dressed in shorts and flip-flops, begged her snow removal guy to forgive her and come plow her driveway.

By Christine Stevens

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